In a previous life I spent my time writing about plays and movies. At the S.F. Examiner — may it rest in peace — I had the privilege of being movie critic from 1992 to 1994. One of the challenges of the job was finding ways to respond creatively, and uniquely, to products that were rolling off Hollywood’s assembly line with depressing uniformity. Another of the challenges was to do so between the hours of 10:30 p.m., when a movie screening often ended, and my 2 a.m. deadline.
Sometimes I found ways to have fun. Today’s sad news from the recall election reminded me of one of those occasions, when, bored beyond reason by Schwarzenegger’s 1993 dud “The Last Action Hero,” I discarded the usual review format and instead wrote up an imaginary dialogue between video archivists of the future. It was clear to me then that Arnold’s career as an action star was tanking. I was not sufficiently prescient to predict his second career (third, really, if you count bodybuilder and movie star as one and two) as a demagogue.
I’m posting the piece here for those looking for some Schwarzenegger-y diversion.